


Ten Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy

by Courfeyrock_crushes_scissors



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, other characters too - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1353682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courfeyrock_crushes_scissors/pseuds/Courfeyrock_crushes_scissors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire isn't a skinny boy. But Enjolras is. </p><p>Just what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Am Fat

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the slam poetry poem called "Ten Thoughts on Being Loved By A Skinny Boy" which I adore.

Grantaire was never one for complaining about his body. Sure, he found himself to be uglier than Medusa, but he very rarely ever spoke aloud about it. He may have went on in a self-deprecating manner, but he never really targeted his displeasure in his features.

He saved that for private.

So it was Enjolras who found him in their bedroom, in front of the mirror in only his underwear with a look of horror and disgust on his face. Enjolras frowned and walked to him then, touching his arm lightly. "R, are you okay?"

The dark-haired man looked at him and colored in embarrassment before laughing it off nervously. "Yeah, just making sure I'm still the ugly bastard I always am."

Enjolras' frown deepened and he gripped his wrist. "You are not ugly, Grantaire."

He received a withering look from the cynic. "I am fat." "No." Enjolras softened a bit. "You are beautiful."

Grantaire wondered about that, but was silenced by Enjolras as he kissed him. Hard.


	2. I Am Not Romantic Lead Material

He took drama as an extra class, because he liked the arts and it was fun. He mostly did the backstage stuff, but Grantaire was slowly becoming more interested in performing. They were putting on Grease. He had auditioned for the main role, Danny Zuko, because why the hell not? Courf had auditioned for Kenickie, and it would be fun to play partners in crime on the stage.

It wasn't until later, when the casting sheet had gone out, that Grantaire hadn't even made the extras list. He was disheartened, and even though Courfeyrac told him that it would be okay, it still felt like shit.

He decided to talk to the director. He wasn't going to be mean about it. He just wasn't sure what he needed to do better. 

The director looked at him with those judgemental eyes and glanced at him up and down. "Grantaire, you're just not... Romantic lead material." And then he had left.

It was that afternoon that Enjolras had told him he was beautiful, and they spent the night fucking. Grantaire kept thinking that he would like to do this on the director's front lawn.

Because Enjolras thought he was beautiful.


	3. I Cannot Find Your Motive

In the morning, Grantaire woke up first. He looked over Enjolras' sleeping body and shifted. His bulky, hairy arm that was draped across Enjolras' torso looked grotesque. His Apollo, all cream and curves and beauty. And here was Grantaire, misshapen, bulky, bruised, battered, and scarred.

He found himself on the floor then, trying to clear his head. Beside him were Enjolras' skinny, skinny, skinny jeans. They were his favorites, a dark black and made his legs appear longer. Grantaire picked them up and turned them over in his hands. They were so small, he could barely believe someone could even wear these.

His hands delved into the pockets, pulling out change, paperclips, and slips of paper.

What was he looking for?

Motive.

The punchline.

Or other guys' phone numbers.

He found none.


	4. I Am A Parade Float

Enjolras didn't catch him digging through his jeans pockets. He wore a different pair that day, when they went out on a lunch date. He liked holding Enjolras' slim hand in his, because it made him happy. Enjolras was his, and he was Enjolras'. No one could change that.

But he wondered if Enjolras noticed the stares. Not only were they an open queer couple, but Enjolras was beauty personified and Grantaire was simply....not. He was taller than Enjolras but still short for a man. He was overweight, looked like he needed to shave, his hair was greasy and hidden beneath a knit cap, and he always seemed disheveled. His clothes were spattered with paint, and his nose just seemed too big.

He wondered if Enjolras knew that he was parading around with a float, and his hands were thick like ropes. Or maybe he was herding a giant ogre around.

The stares are incessant, and Grantaire feels uncomfortable. He wishes they would stop.

Enjolras just squeezes his hand tighter and to every whisper of 'fags' he pulled him closer and kissed him.

Grantaire felt himself ease, just for now.


	5. Dear Cosmo. Fuck You.

Grantaire was at Cosette and Eponine's house when he spotted the magazines. He had picked it up offhandedly, reading the cover which boasted sex tips and the best technique for a bold lip.

It was a Cosmo magazine. He had seen the girls reading them all the time, despite the fact that they were lesbians, and in a relationship. He supposed they got them for the makeup tips? He couldn't tell. With curious fingers, he cracked it open and turned to a random page. 

"How To Please Your Man" was the headline. 

Of course, all the girls in the article were skinny girls, and all the tips were on how to lose weight, dress a certain way, eat a certain way, and so on. Grantaire was filled with disgust. 

He was sure to write a big "Fuck You" letter to Cosmo, with Enjolras at his shoulder.

He had almost never seen Enjolras more proud.


	6. He Tells Me He Loves Me With The Lights On

He had mailed the letter to Cosmo. He was feeling especially down that day, however. Perhaps it was because of that letter. He had thought it hadn't gotten to him, but it had.

That night, as Enjolras pinned him to the bed and kissed him senseless, he wiggled beneath him and reached for the lamp switch on the bedside table. "Hold on." He whispered. But Enjolras grabbed his wrist and gave him a look. 

"Leave it on."  
.  
The made sweet love that night, and after, Enjolras held him close. "I love you."

The light was still on when he said it.


	7. He Doesn't Believe Me When I Tell Him He Is Beautiful

Enjolras is skinny. He is thin and delicate and unique. Grantaire loves him this way. He loves how in bed, as Enjolras lay there with him, breathing slowly, somewhere in between dreamland and the real world; Grantaire can cup his entire hip in one hand and feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.

Enjolras is beautiful.

Grantaire tells him so.

"You are beautiful." He whispers into his hair.

"I am not." 

Enjolras never believes him.

Grantaire fears that the day he does is the day he leaves.


	8. They Assume We Are Just Friends

The cute hipster boy at the cafe thinks they are just friends.

Enjolras is indifferent to the flirting and takes his coffee with a sharp "thank you" but Grantaire is bothered by it. The hipster boy is cliche but he is adorable, and he is skinny, and he wonders why Enjolras doesn't just up and leave him for someone like that.

The next two weeks are hell. All throughout their apartment, there are photos of them together. Grantaire spends those two weeks mentally replacing his face with the hipster boy's face. 

It takes him another week to admit this to Enjolras. He is not scolded. He is not yelled at. Enjolras takes out all the photos from the pictures frames and puts them in a box. He takes out his old Polaroid.

They spend all night taking brand new photos together.

No matter how silly or horrible either of them looks, Enjolras will not let him delete a single one.


	9. I Am Not A Fucking Novelty

On the way to work, Grantaire sees a woman of a larger weight wearing a t-shirt that reads "Big Girls Need Love Too."

That phrase, he thinks, can go die in a fire.

Enjolras had told him he was beautiful.

When they had first started dating, Grantaire had been afraid to have sex. He didn't want to take his clothes off. 

"Enj, just because you're into fat guys or something doesn't mean I'll ever be comfortable with myself!" He had shouted.

"Loving you is not a fucking fetish, Grantaire! Just because I find you beautiful, doesn't make it a novelty! You are not a fucking novelty! You are you, and I love you." Enjolras' face had been so angry, but his words were somehow gentle. 

Grantaire repeats this in his head over and over as he goes into work.


	10. I Am So Much More

Grantaire found himself again in front of the mirror, contemplating his looks. He didn't hear Enjolras come into the room until he's directly behind him in the mirror. 

"What're you doing?" Enjolras asks him.

Grantaire doesn't respond for a moment. Then he murmurs. "I'm fat." 

Enjolras hugs him around the waist. The contrast of that creamy, pale skin against his tanned body is strange. "No. You are so much more than that, R."

Grantaire tries to reply, but Enjolras kisses him.

Hard.


End file.
